Thread:KamiOfWind/@comment-24629512-20151118035130/@comment-3436482-20151119002352

Kami... I'm not happy... at all. I try to keep up a good face to make sure other people don't worry about me. I keep my problems to myself so as not to bother others. I'm on antidepressants... I've almost killed myself multiple times these past two months... don't think you're the only one with problems, it's fucking insulting to the rest of us. We have lives too, Kami.

I want to explain something to you. I was raised in poverty. I had nothing for most of my life. Living with my mother we moved around constantly, living in a broken home barely able to sustain ourselves. No TV, no internet. We barely could keep ourselves sustained with food and water and electricity. I was constantly bullied in school to the point of near suicide. I had no friends. I had severe social anxiety and it affected my home life as well. I tried my best to fit in but everyone hated me. They seemed so happy and I felt so miserable. It made me feel like I didn't deserve to live. I tried to take my own life five times. It hurt just to stay alive. I wanted to die more than anything.

But guess what. I realized I had people supporting me. People who wanted me to live and were willing to do whatever it took to make me happy. I ended up pulling my grades up with their support. I graduated high school on time. I was happy for the first time in years. Then guess what? I crashed again recently. I'm not happy anymore. But I'm not giving up. I STILL have people depending on me, even moreso than before. I'm NOT abandoning them. I'm still working through all this shit that I have. It hurts like hell, Kami. It really does. It hurts my heart and my head and my body more than anything I've ever done. But I'm doing it, because I'm willing to put my life to making myself happy, because all the people who have supported me all these years deserve nothing less.

Kami. We love you. All of us do. We want you to be happy. Many of us are dealing with issues of our own, but we come here to remind ourselves that there are people who care, and there are people we can talk to about anything that's bothering us without having to be afraid. We're here for you, Kami. We want to help in any way we can. If you want to leave us, then we can't force you to stay. But I wanted to think that you talking to us about your issues has at least helped somewhat. From what I could tell things were starting to look up for you. We only want what's best for you, just like we want what's best for everyone else. So... please come back... you don't have to now... but we WILL miss you if you don't.