User blog comment:The Redundant Button/Misfortune Made Her Sword - Chapter two up!/@comment-5470513-20170815233823

Good chapter.

It's neat that you found a way for your characters to bond and, at the same time, not making it boring. This is important so that we can actually care when something bad happens to them. I see a good relationship building between the three of them. The only big issue I have with it is what happened to all three after that guy died in the first chapter. It seemed that they'd forgoten about him.

Also, I found the first sentence of the chapter ("Mornings Suck.") weird because it didn't seem like something the narrator would say. It seemed like something you'd write if you were writing in 1st person, and that not the case. Maybe writing "Renee had always hated mornings." or "Mornings sucked, as far as Rene was concerned.". That way, the narrator remains "invisible". There are a few examples of this throughout the chapter. But honestly, since your writing is quite good, that's a nitpick.