Pyro's 2016 Christmas Special

Enjoy some wacky holiday hi-jinks with Kurenai and the Squad. Expect an EBO and/or EWO segment sometime later. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, and all that. 2017, here we come.

ELO: Kurenai’s Crazy Christmas
[7:30 AM, Christmas day]

Today is Christmas. They say Christmas is supposed to be merry. When you're in charge of a group of gamer girls who know where you live and want to spend time with you, it's not so merry. My Christmas morning starts with waking up and getting ready for the day. Midway through my shower, I hear the doorbell ring. I don’t want to be rude, so I leave the shower, put a towel over my lower half, then answer.

“W-wha- PUT SOME CLOTHES ON YOU PERVERT!!!!” Hitomi covers her eyes to avoid looking at my barely-covered body.

“I was in the middle of a shower, sorry,” I invite Hitomi-chan in and close the door behind her. “I’ll be back in a couple of minutes, make yourself comfortable.”

I return to my shower and quickly get dressed after drying off, putting on some sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt due to my lack of actual pajamas. When I head back to the living room, I'm greeted by Hitomi-chan curled up on the couch staring at the ceiling.

“I’m back,” I tell her.

“Hm? Oh, you're done. What's with the get-up?”

“Just some clothes I had in my drawer. I don’t have actual pajamas.”

“How come?”

“You uh… I don’t think you wanna know.” I rub the back of my head sheepishly.

“Do you sleep naked or something?!” She backs away from me, sitting on the edge of the couch she was lying on.

“Not exactly… but I doubt you wanna know.” I head into the kitchen and brew some tea.

“You’re probably right,” she calms down and sits on the couch normally.

“Is it just you?” I set a cup of tea down in front of her.

“The others are coming over too, I just wanted to be here early.” She took a sip of tea.

“What for?”

“Hm?”

“Why come early? There's not much to do here.” I sat down next to her with a cup of coffee. She didn't move away like she usually would have.

“I guess that's why I got here early. Just wanted to experience what your place is like when the team is partying the whole time.” Hitomi took another sip of tea before resting her head on my shoulder. “I just wanna know what it's like to be here without anyone interfering. Just you and me.”

“That so?” I took a sip of my coffee. “Are you really Hitomi Kimura?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She looked up at me, her head still on my shoulder.

“The usual Hitomi Kimura isn’t all lovey-dovey with me, in any situation.”

“Can’t a girl just have some time alone with her guy friend?” She nuzzled against my arm and closed her eyes, as if she was going to sleep.

“I’ll leave you to it, then.” I let her stay close to me. “You feeling a little cold?”

“Yeah, a little.”

“I can get the fireplace going if you want,” I took another sip of coffee, then set down my cup.

“Yes, please” she sleepily replied, getting off my shoulder to let me get up. As soon as I get up, the doorbell rings again.

“Aaaah, one moment!” I get the fireplace burning before I answer the door. Naoko’s here now.

“Morning, Ichiro-san,” Naoko greeted me.

“Morning, Naoto-chan,” I let her and close the door, then move to get her a cup of tea. “Didn’t wanna be the first one over?”

“Nah, I wanted to freshen up before I got here.” Naoko sat down on the couch where Hitomi was half-asleep. “Hitomi-san got here before I did?”

“So what?” she muttered, trying to stay awake.

“Seems a little… out of character for you, that's all.” I handed Naoto a cup of tea, which she accepted. “Thank you, Ichiro-san. Sure is nice to be here by the fire, hm?”

“Mhm. It's better when you have company over,” I return to my spot on the couch, sitting between Naoko and Hitomi. They both rest their heads on my shoulders and nuzzle up. “Getting comfy, are we?”

“Why not get comfy?” Naoko sets her cup down on the coffee table and nuzzles up again.

“Just don't get too comfortable, you two” As cute as these two are, I don’t want to get into any lewd situations with them. The situation causes my heart to start beating faster, but I guess it can't be helped…

An hour goes by before the whole team shows up. At this time, the girl are hungry, and I didn't have a lot of snacks for them. What I did have were a bunch cooking ingredients and enough supplies to make some Tempura vegetables, a few breaded pork cuts, some burger steaks, and rice. I let the girls eat first, since a package from my aunt and uncle was at the post office and they needed me to pick up said package. That being said, I told them all to behave and not trash the place. I made sure to tell Touka not to violate any of the girls, and I have Hitomi enforcing that rule. It was amusing to see Touka disappointed and Hitomi happy about that. With that done, I left to get the package my family had left me on my personal bike. Yes, I have a motorcycle IRL. And yes, it does resemble my in-game bike minus all the modifications I've made to it.

I got the package from the office, which was two medium-sized boxes I could fit into my backpack. Took a little bit finesse but I managed to get both in the bag. When I got back I found everyone still eating and behaving, which is good. I decided to open up the packages then and there, seeing as how I wanted to find out what was in the boxes. Inside the first box was a Christmas card, some bubble wrap, two bottles of Sake, some candy, a game for my computer, some instant meals and drinks. Mostly coffee and tea, a couple bottles of soda I need to refrigerate. At least there weren't any weird surprises. I had told my aunt and uncle about the girls, and I guess the other package was for them. I cut open the other box and handed it over to Naoko so she could officially open the box.

“Oh, a note. It says ‘Although we have yet to officially meet, we sent you girls a couple of gifts to enjoy this season. Merry Christmas, ladies.’ And then there's two signatures at the bottom, which I assume are from your aunt and uncle.” Naoko read aloud the note before putting it on the table.

“How generous of them,” I smiled at the thought of my family being so kind to my dear comrades.

“There's individual notes on some of the presents…” Naoko pulled out a box addressed to her. “‘For Naoko, a pair of headphones with replacement cords in case of damage.’ How nice!”

“Naoko, pass me the box!” Koneko exclaimed. Upon receiving the package, she dug around and found a set of cat-ear headphones. “Ahh, I love it~!!!!”

“‘For Koneko, a pair of Bluetooth cat-ear headphones with a charger.’” I read the note aloud for her.

“Ahh, they're sooo cute~!!!” Koneko hugged the headphones to her chest, a wide smile on her face.

“My turn, my turn!!” Touka took the box and dug through. She pulled out… a purple rod and a strange box. “Hm? ‘For Touka, a fun toy and some protection.’”

My cheeks started to heat up, which must’ve meant my face lit up like a Christmas tree.

“Protection, hm? This could come in handy~” Touka put both items away in her bag.

“Maybe I should’ve ignored Touka and bought her something myself…” I verbally note.

“Well that’s rude…” Touka pouted.

“Who’s next?” I turned my attention back to the box, which was being passed to Hitomi.

“Let’s see… ‘For Hitomi, a few manga volumes.’” She took out a box containing some manga. The front of the box showed two young men holding each other intimately, as if they were going to kiss.

“E-eh?!? What is this?!” Hitomi was blushing like crazy, her face about as red as Rudolph’s nose. “T-this is… yaoi!! Is your family trying to turn me into a Fujoshi?!”

“How am I supposed to know? I just them what I knew about you, and I mentioned you were a little uncomfortable around boys that aren't me.”

“H-hey, why's your face red?” Hitomi noted.

“Is it?” I put my hand to my cheek and felt an unnatural heat on it. “Hell if I know, probably just the manga my family sent you.”

“Are you secretly gay, Ichiro-san…?” Yoko asked as she approached me and pinned to the wall with her hand.

“H-huh? N-no, of course not…” I looked down, my face feeling hot with embarrassment.

“Then why are you avoiding eye contact with me?” Yoko used her free hand to make me look right into her golden brown eyes. “Look into my eyes and answer me directly, Ichiro-san. Are you secretly gay or do you truly like women romantically?”

“As asexual as I act, I am indeed heterosexual,” I stared into Yoko’s eyes as I responded. Then she leaned towards me, as if to kiss me. “H-hey, wait a minute…”

“That clears up a lot of things,” she whispered into my ears almost seductively. It gave me chills. “You know, I’d be willing to ride your bike anytime you want.

“U-uh huh…” I had a feeling that the hairs on the back of my neck had stood up. I understood entirely what she meant with that sentence just now, and I had so many mixed feelings swirling in my head. “W-who’s up next for the box?”

“I think Yoko-san is next,” Hitomi replied as she put the box down where Yoko was sitting before she went to “interrogate” me. Hitomi was still red from her present, but her face seemed to be less red than before.

“Let’s see…” Yoko went to grab her presents out of the box. “‘For Yoko, a variety of snacks and some Pocky.’ Oh, how lovely~ Bless your dear family, Ichiro-san.”

“Y-yeah, sure,” I’m still trying to calm myself down after what she just did. “God, I’ve got a long Christmas letter to send to my family…”

“My turn next, please,” Kiriko reached into the box and pulled out a box. “Hm? A gaming laptop? ‘For Mitsuru, a high-end gaming laptop. Don’t worry about the price, we can manage it.’ A-ah, this is for Mitsuru-chan. Here ya go.”

“Thanks, Kiriko-san,” Mitsuru accepted the laptop. “Where’s your present, Kiriko-san?”

“It’s here somewhere…” Kiriko dug through the box some more before pulling out a small box. “I-is this… a ring box?”

Everyone in the room stared at me.

“There’s a note taped to it,” I pointed out.

“What does this say… ‘For Kiriko, a silver ring with an emerald gem and gold details. You don’t need to worry about the price of this, we can afford this.’” Kiriko opened the box and found a well-made silver ring with intricate gold details and a brilliant emerald gemstone. She covered her mouth and gasped. “It’s… beautiful…”

All the girls gasped as well, and I couldn’t help but smile. Great going, auntie. You’re gonna make them cry. The rest of the day was spent chatting about standard Christmas traditions that each girl usually did with their family, random encounters were made, and somehow, a mistletoe was hung up above my spot on the couch. As per the tradition of the mistletoe, the girl who sat next to me ended up having to kiss me. Around 5PM, all the girls had kissed me at least twice, and usually on the cheek. Touka, being the cheeky girl she is, tried to kiss me on the lips. I blocked her with my hand, so she had to kiss my cheek. It would be nice to have a kiss on the lips from one of them, but I didn’t exactly feel like kissing them on the lips. In a separate, more intimate situation, sure I’d do that. But with all seven of them here, I couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable with anything more than a peck on the cheek.

The girls didn’t want to go home, so I let them stay over. I had a guest room in my apartment that had a bed that could fit two people, and a sofa bed in the corner that could fit two more. One of the couches in the living room could unfold into a bed as well, allowing two more people to sleep there. I decided to let one of the girls share the bed with me, so they all had a fierce rock-paper-scissors competition over who got to share with me. Hitomi was eliminated first, followed by Mitsuru, then Kiriko, then Yoko. Naoko, Touka, and Koneko were really competing, though Naoko was eventually eliminated. Touka or Koneko, who wins?

[9:56 PM, Christmas day]

In the end, Touka won. As the girls prepared for bed, I went to clean up the mess they left behind. I didn’t mind cleaning up after them, honestly. They were guests, after all. Fortunately, they had done a decent job cleaning up after themselves, so I just had to wash the dishes and put away a few things. I had to help Naoko and Koneko with the sofa bed in the living room before getting the other sofa bed out for Mitsuru and Kiriko. Yoko and Hitomi slept in the guest bed soundly, having put a spare pillow between each other to keep themselves from getting into weird positions while asleep. The other girls did the same after saying good night to me. Once everyone had settled down, I went to get ready for bed myself. Brushed my teeth, washed my face, all that. I made sure the heater was on since it gets cold at night, especially on a cloudy night like tonight. When I returned to my room, I saw Touka take her clothes off.

“A-ah, sorry. Didn’t mean to intrude,” I turned around to avoid seeing her naked.

“You’re fine, Ichiro-san. I’m just getting ready for bed.”

“Aren’t you gonna put some clothes on?”

“You didn’t give me a set of pajamas to put on. Besides, I developed a habit of sleeping naked.”

“Great…” I closed the door before taking off my shirt and pants. Yes, I sleep in my underwear, don’t judge me…

“Oh? Taicho sleeps in his underwear, hm~?” She gave a quick wink before pulling me into bed with her. “This should be quite a night then~”

“H-hold on now…” Too late, she’s already straddling me.

“It’s okay, Ichiro-san. None of the other girls will hear if you kiss me~” She leaned in for a kiss. I blocked her again. “Oh, that’s no fun~ Loosen up a bit, Taicho.”

“I just want some sleep, Touka. You can have your fun some other time.” My dissuasion tactic seemed to work, as she stopped straddling and instead cuddled up with me. Her bare body pressed up against me made me feel a little uncomfortable, to say the least. “Do you really have to sleep naked?”

“Is it bothering you?”

“A little, yeah.”

“I’ll go put a shirt on. You should put your pants on if we’re not gonna do anything fun~” She got up and tossed me my pants before picking up my shirt.

“You and your flirting are gonna get both of us in trouble.” I was too lazy to put my pants on like a normal person, so I just wiggled into them from under the covers. Touka rejoined me soon after, wearing my shirt from earlier.

“You think you’re gonna date any one of us, Ichiro?

“Why ask that?”

“Just curious.”

“I don’t know. You all seem like great girls. I’m just not ready to open my heart up yet.”

“That so?”

“Yeah. For the time being at least. My feelings are subject to change after all.” Touka giggled at my remark.

“That explains why you’re such a prude sometimes.”

“Hey, I don’t wanna get in trouble with the other girls for something lewd that wasn’t my fault or intention.” She giggled again before snuggling up against me. Her wearing my shirt bothered me significantly less, but still made me a tad uncomfortable. I guess I just wasn’t used to this kind of feeling. I’ve been all alone for so many years, with distant relatives supporting me.

“You’re a good guy, Ichiro. It’s a real shame no one sees that.”

“People have seen that side of me. It’s just…”

“Just…?”

“They’re all dead… My parents, my little sister…” I couldn’t help but hold Touka close.

“If it makes you feel any better, I grew up in a shady town because my parents wanted to save some money.”

“At least you still have your parents…”

“I guess… But. You have us, Ichiro. Koneko, Naoko, Mitsuru, the entire squad. We’re all here for you, for better or for worse.”

“Yeah… At least I have you girls…” We both fell asleep holding each other, keeping warm under the covers as the night slowly passed.