User blog comment:Djinnamon/Blanc Arc 1 Chapter one/@comment-4868194-20151210050017

First paragraph is something that should be on your character page.

Second paragraph has bad punctuation.

Third paragraph is only two sentences?

Fourth paragraph is also only two sentences? And missing a period.

Fifth paragraph makes it look like people dying is nothing to worry about. That is not right.

Sixth paragraph is one sentence, and it's not even punctuated.

Seventh paragraph made a timeleap out of nowhere, and has a misspelled.

Overall chapter rating: Proofreader's nightmare, reader's cringey disappointment.